My Yoga Story

I get asked periodically how I got into yoga and why I linked it to singing, so here's my story....

Singing always came easily to me, but what I know now is that performing did not.

In high school, I frequently had solo parts and leads in musicals and concerts. Along with all that singing (hello, I sang Cunegonde as a JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL), came nerves. Mostly, I would snap at people (usually my mom, sorry mom!), not knowing that my fear was talking. Also, I was living with a heart condition, called supraventricular tachycardia (SVT), that caused my heart to race when under physical or emotional stress. The worst that could happen was fainting which I never did, but it was impossible to be connected to my breath while my heart was racing at over 200 beats a minute and all I wanted to do was sit down and put my head between my legs. I can recall being on stage many times while I had an SVT episode. It was never pleasant.

In college, I ended up majoring in English and didn't come back to pursue using my voice for my career until I was 28. I had a procedure done to eliminate the heart condition, but it didn't entirely work. It was better, but I could still have episodes when nervous (I took a beta blocker daily to manage it, but nerves trumped all).

Once I was in graduate school I had a mental game to play because I perceived that I wasn't as good as everyone else there because my undergraduate degree wasn't in music. That perception caused me to shy away from auditioning for solos in choir and going after the parts with the gusto that I saw in my friends.

One day in the fall of 2001 a friend invited me to go to yoga with her. Quite honestly I had no other plans that night so I went.

The physical practice was fun and challenging, but I wasn't so sure I bought the more subtle stuff the teacher talked about...really, I was balancing my brain by breathing through opposite sides of my nose (yes, I now fully believe that because I've experienced it!)??? Despite that something about the practice stuck with me and I stuck with yoga, going to the class every week.

There were several a-ha moments for me as my study progressed. The first came when I  needed to go to a voice lesson right after a yoga class. The memory of sitting on my couch feeling like I was a rubber band and wondering how on earth I could sing when I felt that way is still vivid in my mind. I went to that voice lesson and found that singing was easier than it had ever been. Was I a rubber band? No. Was my body relaxed in a way it had never been before? Yes.

For my final recital I used the meditation technique of visualization. Throughout school I'd avoided having solos in choir and other places because of my faulty mental perceptions, but also to avoid the stress of having my heart act up. That year I read a book on performance preparation and visualization was suggested as a way to calm nerves. So, I sat on my couch again, closed my eyes and visualized the recital...WHOA...the nerves that I would feel when I walked on stage were all there. I kept at it, making time every day for the two weeks prior to the performance to see myself going through the program flawlessly. Each time it got a little easier and I felt less nervous. When performance day came, I walked on stage, sang through the concert without a strange beat of my heart or a sense of terrifying nerves.

After I finished school, I repeated the heart procedure with success this time, but the mental elements of performance nerves were still there. However, I found that attending a yoga class during the day before a performance at night caused me to be more grounded, connected to my breath and frankly, fearless in my performing.

When I moved into teaching, I saw so many singers who struggled with balancing the demands of life and singing. Many of them were coping with vocal injuries. In an effort to help them I took additional classes in Voice Disorders and attended clinics when I could on how to teach injured voices. What I learned was that hyper-function was often an underlying cause of vocal injury and when there's tension in the voice, there's tension elsewhere in the body. Be honest, who among us couldn't stand to be a little more relaxed??

It was after 20 years of singing, 6 years of yoga study and 5 years of teaching voice that I decided to pursue yoga teacher training. I knew that I was not the only person who could derive benefit from these practices. Physical practice, breathing and meditation are holistic ways to manage nerves, balance stress and connect to your authentic voice so you sing from your heart.

Singing may come easily to you. Performing may not. Yoga can help you with that!

The Deal with the Diaphragm, Pt 2

In the first post we looked at the diaphragm and its role in inhalation - It is the primary muscle involved in the lifting of the ribs and the expansion of the abdomen upon inhalation. To be extra clear, it is always involved in breathing - there is no such thing as a non-diaphragmatic breath. It is just a matter of how efficiently it works. When you are a singer you need it to be very efficient, and the way we use the other muscles of inhalation and exhalation allows the diaphragm to function efficiently.

When we sing we need to slow down the rate at which air is expelled so it matches the needed amount to set the vocal folds in motion at the appropriate pitch and gives you the ability to sing through a phrase. We can't do that with the diaphragm because we have no direct control over it.

We accomplish this by engaging the accessory muscles of exhalation. (When you aren't singing you can slow the breath down by pursing the lips on exhale or by using an ujjayi breath). The abdominal muscle that has the most direct relationship to the diaphragm is the transverse abdominus, the deepest layer of belly muscle, because it attaches to the body at many of the same points that the diaphragm does. We often refer to muscles in pairs as antagonists (think bicep and tricep in your arm). The transverse abdominus is the antagonist of the diaphragm. The other accessory muscles and their antagonists include the obliques (belly) and the costals (ribs), but we're looking most closely at the transverse abdominus here.

Transverse Abdominus in deep red above.


If the diaphragm returns to its resting position quickly, you get a big burst of air that will either make your sound breathy, out of tune or more difficult to create than it should be. So, when we slow its return down by engaging the other muscles of the abdomen and back, especially the transverse abdominus, you create what is often referred to as 'support'.

So, how do you know you are engaging the transverse abdominus muscle?

Try This:

Lie down or sit in a comfortable, well aligned manner. Place your hand just above your pubic bone on your low belly.

Exhale as though you are breathing out through a straw, continuing until you feel as though you are out of air. Like, really, really out of air.

While exhaling pay attention to where you feel muscle engagement - hopefully you feel it beneath your hand in the lowest part of your belly, almost as low as where the pubic bone is. That muscle engagement is the transverse abdominus muscle and that level of engagement is only for demonstration purposes to find it. We use it more subtly when we sing, not wanting to have any visible motion of the belly up and in as we sing through a phrase. If you aren't sure if you engage it when you sing, try vocalizing on the sounds v, m, n, or the ng sound from the word sing with your fingers pressed into your softened belly. Those sounds are good triggers to engage the muscle and you'll feel it press against your fingers when you vocalize.

Enjoy!

Breathing 101: Brahmari - Bee Breath

In this post we're going to add to your tool belt of ways to manage and soothe performance anxiety. If you've read other Breathing 101 posts, you are starting to get a feel for the power of your breath.  Being aware of your breath helps you to be aware of your state of mind: shallow breath = stress/anxiety, deep, full breath = relaxed, calm.

This breath practice is a way to move to a non-anxious state by using sound to help extend your exhale. It is something you can practice back stage before performing, or while riding on the subway, in your car or while simply walking down the street.

 Brahmari/Bee Breath:

To begin this practice, sit in a comfortable cross legged position  or in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, spine tall. 

Inhale through your nose and exhale through your nose while softly and gently humming on an /m/ sound and comfortable, mid-range pitch.

There should be little effort in your hum and the jaw should be soft, the tongue resting between your lower teeth. As you continue your neck, shoulders and jaw will continue to release tension.

 The bee breath are calms the anxious, spinning mind and helps to lengthen the exhalation without additional effort – forcing the breath beyond your capacity will have the opposite effect.

 What you are doing is humming softly. There are many articles out there about the health benefits of humming. Including one from the New York Times that presents multiple studies on the effect of humming to help sinus infections, a short one from mindbodygreen on the health benefits of humming and one from relaxation lounge on the instant benefits of humming daily.

Give it a whirl and see how you feel after!

Breathing 101: Complete Yoga Breath

The foundational breath of yoga is the complete yoga breath, called Dirga* in Sanskrit (pronounced DEER-gah).

Mastering it means you have developed an awareness and freedom of your breathing which will enable other breath practices and also your singing. The increase in oxygen you bring in when you breathe deeply helps decrease stress and anxiety levels, something everyone can use!

Begin by practicing on your back, then try in a sitting position and finally try it standing up.

1. Lie on your back in constructive rest, with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor. 

2. Place your hands on your belly. Breathe in and feel the belly rise on inhale and fall on exhale. Do this for a few cycles.

3. Move your hands to your ribcage. Inhale and feel the belly expand and then feel the breath cause the ribcage to expand on inhale and retreat on exhale. Do this for a few cycles. 

4. The final part is to feel the breath move into the area under the collarbones. Breathe in, feel the belly and ribs fill and then a slight rise of the collarbones as breath enters the upper lung tissue. This final step is subtle and small. 

This breath is about finding freedom in the muscles involved with inhalation in exhalation such that your diaphragm can descend enough to allow for a deep inhalation and your ribs expand to accommodate your filling lungs. If you feel light headed while doing this, back off from the practice and lie with your legs up the wall or on a chair for a few minutes while breathing normally.

Enjoy! 

*If you have asthma and are experiencing symptoms, avoid engaging in practices such as this until your symptoms have abated. Then, begin with gentle breathing to avoid aggravating your condition.

The Deal with the Diaphragm, Pt 1

"What do you know about breathing for singing?"

This is one of the first questions asked of new students in my voice studio at their first lesson. My least favorite, yet most common response is, "well, I know you breathe from the diaphragm," uttered as they hold their hand vaguely over their abdominal area.

If that is their answer we go no further.

The diaphragm, for those of you who don't know, is an involuntary muscle. That means we have no direct control over it. We cannot make it do anything. At all. When not engaged it rests at the bottom of the rib cage. When activated it contracts and pulls and aides with inhalation.

Because it is an involuntary muscle, we do not 'breathe from the diaphragm' anymore than we breathe from our stomach. We breathe through our mouth or nose, down the trachea and into the lungs. Breathing occurs through an interplay of muscles, including the diaphragm, that pull on lung tissue, create negative pressure and allow air to rush in (a very boiled down explanation with apologies to those who do anatomical things for a living and would give a more complex, in depth explanation).

What we want is a diaphragm that is free to descend to its maximum position, allowing the bottom portion of our lungs, where the bulk of our lung tissue lives, to fill with air, giving us the best shot at singing long phrases.

What we need is a set of abdominal muscles flexible enough to allow the contents of the abdominal area (stomach, liver, spleen etc) to move forward when the diaphragm encounters them. Because the diaphragm inserts on itself in a central tendon,  its flexibility is also partly dependent on the flexibility of the hips and spine. (Working on flexibility while building strength is one of the many reasons why yoga can be helpful for singers.)

When teachers and conductors and the like tell students "Breathe from your diaphragm!" what they mean is release your abdominal muscles so the diaphragm is free to descend on inhalation.  We 'feel a low breath' because there is expansion in the belly as things move around.

The way the diaphragm is involved with exhalation and how it is paired with its antagonist muscles in the abdomen to provide the foundation for a supported sound is for another post.

Go forth and sing, but know that you aren't controlling your diaphragm as much as you might think you are!

Breathing 101: Extending the Exhale.

If you completed the breath ratio exercise and discovered that your inhale is longer than your exhale, or it is equal and you'd like to extend your exhale, here are a few tips on how to do that.

As a reminder, an extended exhale helps to trigger the relaxation response, shutting off the flow of stress hormones (think about the need to fall asleep after you get home from a performance that ended at 11pm...). If you are a singer who struggles to sing longer phrases of music this exercise can help you as well - as will exercises that improve the efficiency of your vocal cord closure, but that's another post for another day!

***Nota Bene: If you are an asthmatic, please don't try to attempt to extend your exhale when you are symptomatic, you are likely to trigger an asthma attack. Please wait until your breathing feels calm to try this. You may do even better to begin by thinking about shortening your inhale rather than stressing your system with extending your exhale.

1. Lie on your back in constructive rest and allow the body to completely relax into the ground.

2. Place your hands on your belly and take a moment to tune into breathing that involves the motion of the belly out on inhale and in on exhale.

3. Do a few cycles of counting your inhalation and exhalation. Let's say your ratio is 6 inhale, 3 exhale.

4. Now try these three options to extend your exhale 1 count at a time:

• Try first just thinking about slowing down your exhale to see if awareness is enough to bring about change.
•  Inhale normally, purse your lips and exhale like you are blowing bubbles. Changing the shape of your aperture (opening) changes the rate at which you exhale, slowing it down.
• Inhale normally, and exhale creating a whisper sound in the back of the throat called Ujjayi breathing - Please, please, please don't make yourself sound like Darth Vader. This should be a noise that is only perceptible to your own ears.

If it feels easy to extend your count by 1, you can work more quickly toward doubling your exhale length, putting your count at 6 and 12.

Once you've mastered things lying down, move on to trying them sitting up and then standing.

As always, just explore without judgement and enjoy!

Breathing 101

When is that last time you took a really deep breath? As singers we tend to be more aware of breathing than the average person, but so many singers who have come into my studio in the last decade have needed to cultivate a deeper awareness and understanding of their breathing to ensure it is really working to enhance their singing voice and not working against them.

Pranayama is the Sanskrit word for extension of the breath, or prana. Prana (breath) is the life force, or vital energy. At its best, the breath will help quiet a busy mind, revitalize a tired body and soothe a languishing spirit, not to mention what it does for the singing voice. If you have a breathing pattern that isn't leading you down this path, it definitely isn't helping your singing in any way.

There are several problematic breathing patterns that I see regularly in my studio: reverse breathing, clavicular breathing, over breathing and breath holding.

Reverse Breathing: in this state, the belly area moves in on inhale and the rib cage expands. The belly then moves out on exhale. I see this often in newer and younger singers. Though we are born belly breathers, we don't often stay that way for long. When the belly isn't soft enough to expand on inhale, your diaphragm isn't allowed to descend and your lungs aren't being optimally accessed.

Clavicular Breathing: in this state, the lower ribs aren't flaring out when you inhale. Instead, your breath is high and shallow. Clavicular breathing contributes the stress response which is fine when you are running out of a burning building and want adrenaline coursing through your body to keep you alert, but it is not what you want when you are performing. With this type of breath you aren't accessing the lowest lobes of the lungs which are a key part of triggering the relaxation response.

Over Inhaling: in this state, your inhale is longer than your exhale. This is common in singers who suffer from asthma, something that in my studio has been on the rise over the years. You can tell if you are over inhaling simply by counting the length of your inhale and the length of your exhale.

Breath Holding: in this state, you take air in, but you hold it before engaging in exhalation. What should be a split second transition between the muscles of inhalation and exhalation gets extended and the breath isn't optimally used and therefore your sound isn't optimal either. As a young singer, I had this pattern until a movement teacher at the Chautauqua Summer Voice Program pointed it out to me. It was a revelatory discovery for me to go for a run and notice that she was completely correct. I took breath in, but didn't let it out. It took work, but I was able to change my pattern in time.

See what you notice about your own breathing over the course of the day. Do any of these patterns sound like something you are doing? Our next breathing 101 post will give you some pranayama exercises to work with your breath and keep it as free as possible.

Going to the Source: Using Yoga to Calm Performance Anxiety

In part one of this series we learned about the origins of performance anxiety and what the yogic perspective is on that state of mind. We now know the roll the brain plays in putting us into the fight or flight stress mode and how if we stay there too long we will wire our brains to worry. In this post we'll look at specific yogic practices and how, when in engaged in on a regular basis, they can help alleviate nerves felt around performing.

Yoga teaches us to practice awareness of our body, our breath and our mind. When we become mindful of these elements in our yoga practice, we can be mindful off the mat as well and apply them to our practice and performance. I define mindfulness as the act of  maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations. It also involves acceptance, meaning we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future. Yoga also encourages us to connect; with ourselves, our audience and our fellow performers. If you are a spiritual person you can also work to build a connection to God or the greater Universe. Remember that we all fundamentally want the same things in life and very likely we are more alike than we are different. It can also be useful to remind yourself that people attend concerts to see you succeed, no one goes to watch you fail!

The first step in dealing with performance anxiety is becoming aware of it. Perhaps you've known for a while that you get nervous when you have to perform but you've never sat down and really looked at when those nerves hit or where you feel them in your body when they are happening. If you have a performance coming up commit to being mindful in that experience. Just observe yourself without judgement. Try saying to yourself 'how interesting I'm _____' (fill in the blank with whatever you notice yourself doing or feeling around that event). (N.B. This is a practice you can use anywhere - in teaching, working etc. I use it frequently when I get frustrated with my children as a way of becoming more mindful of what sets me off and how I can spend less time annoyed with them!)

This is a step that may come easily to you or it may take you a while. I believe we can not effect change until we fully understand the behavior we are engaging in. Become friends with yourself and really delve into what is going on. You may find it helpful to document the feelings in writing and keep a journal.

Assuming you master this phase and you know what is going on and what triggers you have, you can engage in breathing, meditation and physical practices to help modify your stress reaction. 

Breathing: It might seem sort of strange to tell a singer they need to pay attention to their breath as it is easy to presume you already know more about the breath than the average person, but I would challenge that there is still more everyone can learn and the way yoga encourages you to look at your breathing is very different than how a voice teacher might teach breathing. Often there is an emphasis in singing lessons on inhaling, or the intake, of breath. How we exhale is equally as important!
           

            Breath Awareness/Ratio: Lie on your back in constructive rest (knees bent, feet flat on the floor). Rest your hands half on your belly and half on your ribcage. Allow your eyes to fall closed. Breathe through your nose and notice the motion in your belly and ribcage as you inhale and exhale. After a few rounds, begin to count the length of your inhale. Keep your pace of counting consistent. After a few rounds, count the length of your exhale, again keeping the pace o f your count consistent. What is your ratio? Are your inhale and exhale equal or is one longer than the other. What we want to avoid (both in life and in singing) is an inhale that is longer than the exhale. To promote relaxation, we want an exhale that is longer than the inhale. You can also add a sigh to the exhale as a way of promoting relaxation.

            Complete Yoga Breath –Dirgha Breath

The complete yoga breath is a foundational breath practice. Mastering it means you have developed an awareness and freedom of your breathing which will enable other breath practices and also your singing! Begin by practicing it on your back and then try it in a sitting position. Lie on your back in constructive rest, or, if you’ve mastered the breath lying down, sit in a comfortable cross-legged position (sukasana). Place your hands on your belly. Breathe in and feel the belly rise on inhale and fall on exhale. Do this for a few cycles. Then, move your hands to your ribcage. Inhale and feel the belly expand and then feel the breath cause the ribcage to expand on inhale and retreat on exhale. Do this for a few cycles. The third part is to feel the breath move into the area under the collarbones. Breathe in, feel the belly and ribs fill and then a slight rise of the collarbones as breath enters the upper lung tissue. This final step is subtle and small. Be sure not to confuse this with the optimal breath for singing – this is about finding freedom in the muscles involved with inhalation in exhalation such that your diaphragm can descend enough to allow for a deep inhalation and your ribs expand to accommodate your filling lungs. If you feel light headed while doing this, back off from the practice and lie with your legs up the wall or on a chair for a few minutes while breathing normally.

Asana Practice: 

Specific poses are also beneficial for reducing anxiety. While regular asana practice will help you long term, you can also identify what your energy levels are like the day of a performance and tailor your practice. If you are low energy, you can do a practice that will raise your energy to help you. If you have a lot of nervous energy and practice that burns some of that off to help you focus will be beneficial. When you engage in your asana practice, try to use the complete yoga breath as your guide. When your breathing strays from being easily full, you are working too hard in a pose and should back off.

Poses that help alleviate anxiety by helping to calm the mind and open the heart center include:

Standing Forward Bend

Cat/Cow

Puppy Stretch

Triangle

Bridge

Head to Knee Pose

Staff Pose

Seated Forward Bend

Easy Pose

Meditation: Meditation is another useful tool for singers to alleviate anxiety. By training the mind to be present, we can be more open to our performances. To sing our truth we need to be sure that our hearts and our heads are in agreement. This meditation is meant to unite the two so you have a calm mind, connected breath and can sing from your heart. Meditation can cause emotions to arise, so don’t try to hold things back, just let go and experience whatever comes your way. This meditation is a great place to start to begin to build an awareness of how busy your mind can be.

Counting Meditation –

Sit in a comfortable cross-legged position, or sit in a chair with your feet flat on the ground. Allow your eyes to fall closed so your attention turns inward. Take a few breaths to settle in. Begin counting silently in your head:
1 on inhale. 1 on exhale

2 on inhale. 2 on exhale

3 on inhale. 3 on exhale….continue up to 10

*When you are counting, your thinking mind is apt to engage. When you notice that you are thinking, start back at 1 on inhale and go again towards 10.

* If you make it to 10, start back at 1 and go through the steps again.

*Remember that the goal isn’t to get to 10, the goal is to become aware of your thoughts.

* If you become comfortable with this meditation, you can move away from counting and instead choose a phrase, a mantra to repeat silently on inhale and exhale - perhaps you need more focus, or patience or persistance. Use whatever word or set of words speaks to you.

Begin with a short, 5 minute practice and add minutes on as you feel ready. Setting a timer can be very helpful and can keep you from watching the clock when you are supposed to be meditating!

Visualization Meditation –

Nearly every performer gets nervous before going on stage. As performers we want to turn this nervous energy into positive energy that propels our performance to be even better. One way to do this is to practice visualization. In yogic thought, anxiety stems from a sense of being disconnected and having a limited vision of ourselves. If you create a ‘me vs. them’ situation with your audience, you are disconnected from them. But, if you can believe that you are all a part of the same world, want the same things and they are there to receive the gifts you offer through your singing, you build a sense of connection.

If you have a concert coming up, I recommend starting two weeks before the date of performance (if you are someone with a very high level of anxiety, add more time, perhaps start four weeks in advance). Set aside time every day to visualize going through the concert flawlessly.

Find a comfortable seated position – can be in a chair, on the floor or the couch.

Orient your mind towards your performance and take 3 breaths to center yourself.

Envision yourself backstage where you will perform – be specific about what you will wear, who is there with you etc.

Imagine yourself walking on stage to stand wherever you will begin your performance. You fill the room with your presence, knowing the audience has come to see you succeed. Through your singing, you will connect with them, sharing your artistry.

Imagine yourself taking whatever position you will take and bowing your head to prepare to perform. Pick your head up and imagine yourself singing through your program flawlessly.

This has ended up being a long post, but I hope you've made it this far!

Once you try some of these practices on the mat, there are some off the mat exercises you can do too.

1. Think of three times during your day that you can be mindful. When you reach those moments in your day, stop and observe your thoughts and what you are feeling.

2. When you listen to someone else perform, think first of three things you liked about their performance.

3. When you practice, focus on only one element at a time - rhythm, text, sound quality etc.

4. Try re-framing an experience you perceive as negative to cast it in a positive light.

5. Build time into your day to do nothing - turn the tv off, put away your smart phone and just sit in silence.

Good luck! If you would like to have some help talking through the elements of performance that cause you anxiety and develop a strategy for how to shift your anxiety into positive energy to propel your performance, please contact me.

 

Going to the Source: Origins of Performance Anxiety

Recently I talked with a singer who told me she'd been to an audition and in her words, "bombed it". She said she'd disconnected from her breath, forgotten the words and generally felt awful. She chalked it up to not having done an audition in a long time.

I'm sure that was a part of it. There is an art to auditioning, as any singer will tell you. However, as our conversation continued, she went on to tell me how, at the end of the month, she would lose the administrative job that has been the bread and butter of her existence for many years. She runs a music program for children in the mornings and then goes to her desk job in the afternoon and sings in a prominent chorus as well as doing her own solo work on top of it all. Time to practice, she indicated, was hard to come by. The more we talked, the more I began to wonder if it was really the length of time between auditions that caused her anxiety and subsequent poor performance.

In our bodies, anxiety is created in the amygdala, a part of the brain where primal emotions are generated. When triggered it bypasses the rational part of our brain and sets off a physical reaction. Unfortunately, anxiety is also addictive in the sense that the more you worry, the more you wire your brain to worry. Your mind, therefore, will either be your biggest ally or your biggest enemy.

Anxiety can strike before, during or even after a performance (or it can happen all three times). Your brain's ability to bypass the rational part of itself means you are left with a racing heart, shallow breathing, shaking body, nausea, dry mouth, tense shoulders and jaw and sweaty palms. Mentally there are repercussions too. You might have trouble sleeping, feel depressed, avoid practicing, snap at people around you because you are moody, forget the words, be confused on stage, worry, wrongly assess your performance or assume everyone there is waiting to see you fail. Once you start down the path of anxiety it can be hard to short circuit and instead it can snowball, pulling you into a vicious cycle. Some of you have probably experienced that on stage where you get anxious before going on, get out there and feel your knees knocking together, you can't ever connect to your breath and then before you know it you forget the words and lose your place in the music. Ugh. No one should have to experience that more than once!

Understanding where your anxiety comes from can be tricky. You might be naturally shy or anxious, be afraid of the audience critiquing your performance negatively or had a specific experience in your past that triggered your anxiety. Perhaps you are singing music that is a bit beyond your current capacity, or you haven't practiced enough or performed enough to feel comfortable. Maybe you just haven't been taking good care of your self or are your own worst critic, seeing only the negative aspects of your performance. It could be that there is a stressful event in the rest of your life that you haven't dealt with and that emotion is being represented as anxiety in your singing. Maybe you are not yet mindful of your anxiety to even know what triggers it for you.

In yogic thought, anxiety stems from a sense of disconnection from a larger Universe due to our limited notion of who we really are. In other words, we forget that we are all a part of something greater than ourselves, that we are more than our physical form. Instead we create 'us against them' situations and wrap ourselves up in our identities of being singers, parents, workers or any other hat you wear in your life, believing those identities to be who we are.  When we engage in those behaviors we disconnect from ourselves, our audience, (or conductor, band mates, pianists etc.) forget that we are all connected and box ourselves into specific identities. What anxiety universally tells us is that there is room for us to grow. If we befriend our anxiety we can see it as an opportunity to learn so as to make different, mindful choices in the future.

The time we spend on the mat in yoga helps us off the mat in these every day situations that arise. In yoga we get to know ourselves through the lens of compassion by being present. Present to our breath. Present to our bodies and what they can do for us. Present to the thoughts in our minds. If we pay attention through non-judgmental observation we begin to gain insight into our patterns. After our awareness is raised and we understand how we tend to act, we have an opportunity to make different choices at any given time because we are living in the present moment.

Let's go back to the singer I mentioned in the beginning of this post. Her story told me several things: She hadn't auditioned in a long time. She was facing a major life change by leaving a job she'd been at for a while which brought with it a need to find new patterns in her daily life and a big financial shift as well. Her life, in general, is a constant balance of juggling multiple sources of income, the demands of finding practice time, performing and fitting it all in around her personal life. Knowing what we do about where anxiety can come from, it becomes easier to see how her identification with her job, its end and the emotions surrounding that along with the constant stress of balancing her busy life on top of whatever other history she has with anxiety about auditioning/performing, how she typically assess her own performances and whether she is aware of any that, all contribute to her sense of anxiety. All of those things shunt her brain in the direction of anxiety, rather than staying open to connecting with the larger Universe and the people around her.

Her situation may sound familiar to you, or you could replace a few parts of her story with your own and see how this could be you. In Part II of Going to the Source, we'll look at specific yogic based practices that when engaged in on a regular basis help quiet the mind, connect to the breath and turn performance anxiety into energy that can propel you to achieve your performance potential. Stay tuned!