Singing always came easily to me, but what I know now is that performing did not.
In high school, I frequently had solo parts and leads in musicals and concerts. Along with all that singing (hello, I sang Cunegonde as a JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL), came nerves. Mostly, I would snap at people (usually my mom, sorry mom!), not knowing that my fear was talking. Also, I was living with a heart condition, called supraventricular tachycardia (SVT), that caused my heart to race when under physical or emotional stress. The worst that could happen was fainting which I never did, but it was impossible to be connected to my breath while my heart was racing at over 200 beats a minute and all I wanted to do was sit down and put my head between my legs. I can recall being on stage many times while I had an SVT episode. It was never pleasant.
In college, I ended up majoring in English and didn't come back to pursue using my voice for my career until I was 28. I had a procedure done to eliminate the heart condition, but it didn't entirely work. It was better, but I could still have episodes when nervous (I took a beta blocker daily to manage it, but nerves trumped all).
Once I was in graduate school I had a mental game to play because I perceived that I wasn't as good as everyone else there because my undergraduate degree wasn't in music. That perception caused me to shy away from auditioning for solos in choir and going after the parts with the gusto that I saw in my friends.
One day in the fall of 2001 a friend invited me to go to yoga with her. Quite honestly I had no other plans that night so I went.
The physical practice was fun and challenging, but I wasn't so sure I bought the more subtle stuff the teacher talked about...really, I was balancing my brain by breathing through opposite sides of my nose (yes, I now fully believe that because I've experienced it!)??? Despite that something about the practice stuck with me and I stuck with yoga, going to the class every week.
There were several a-ha moments for me as my study progressed. The first came when I needed to go to a voice lesson right after a yoga class. The memory of sitting on my couch feeling like I was a rubber band and wondering how on earth I could sing when I felt that way is still vivid in my mind. I went to that voice lesson and found that singing was easier than it had ever been. Was I a rubber band? No. Was my body relaxed in a way it had never been before? Yes.
For my final recital I used the meditation technique of visualization. Throughout school I'd avoided having solos in choir and other places because of my faulty mental perceptions, but also to avoid the stress of having my heart act up. That year I read a book on performance preparation and visualization was suggested as a way to calm nerves. So, I sat on my couch again, closed my eyes and visualized the recital...WHOA...the nerves that I would feel when I walked on stage were all there. I kept at it, making time every day for the two weeks prior to the performance to see myself going through the program flawlessly. Each time it got a little easier and I felt less nervous. When performance day came, I walked on stage, sang through the concert without a strange beat of my heart or a sense of terrifying nerves.
After I finished school, I repeated the heart procedure with success this time, but the mental elements of performance nerves were still there. However, I found that attending a yoga class during the day before a performance at night caused me to be more grounded, connected to my breath and frankly, fearless in my performing.
When I moved into teaching, I saw so many singers who struggled with balancing the demands of life and singing. Many of them were coping with vocal injuries. In an effort to help them I took additional classes in Voice Disorders and attended clinics when I could on how to teach injured voices. What I learned was that hyper-function was often an underlying cause of vocal injury and when there's tension in the voice, there's tension elsewhere in the body. Be honest, who among us couldn't stand to be a little more relaxed??
It was after 20 years of singing, 6 years of yoga study and 5 years of teaching voice that I decided to pursue yoga teacher training. I knew that I was not the only person who could derive benefit from these practices. Physical practice, breathing and meditation are holistic ways to manage nerves, balance stress and connect to your authentic voice so you sing from your heart.
Singing may come easily to you. Performing may not. Yoga can help you with that!
